Neighborly Love - The Smiths

by Nathan Black

When I was growing up, there was a family living next door to me. They actually lived 3 houses down, but allow me some poetic license. Their name wasn't Smith, but it was pretty common like Jones or Smphqzspzyilnski. Anyway they had a daughter who was a few years older than me, and as I was quite developed for my age, she became quite taken with me (not that she was alone among my legion of admiring fans). She had 4 large angry brothers who she used to send to get me and then she would make me do things for her like eat dirt or be her target for lawn darts. I knew she loved me by the way she used to act like she hated my guts and wanted me dead. One time they stuck the garden hose up my you-know-what and turned it on - boy what a turn on indeed! I have never forgotten the feeling of that cold water against my intestines and have made that a part of my daily routine ever since. But anyway I have gotten off the subject at hand. And that is she really liked me. She really, really did.