I Want to be the One To Hang Your Momma’s Drapes  
I wanna be the one to hang your momma’s drapes
I wanna be the one to feed your momma grapes
And nectarines If you know what I mean
Cuz she’s really getting’ up there in years
And she could really use a hand I hope you understand  
I wanna be the one to fix your momma’s plumbing
I wanna be the one and no I wouldn’t be slumming
I’d paint her house And kill her mouse (es)
Cuz she’s really getting’ up there in years
And she could really use a hand I hope you understand  
I wanna be the one to walk your momma’s dog
Milk your momma’s goat, slop your momma’s hog
Jump on her trampoline If you know what I mean
Cuz her health ain’t so good these days
And her eyes are getting pretty bad
And I don’t want her to have to look in the yellow pages